Episode 206: How to Talk With the Kids About Marriage with Sam Allberry

Hole In My Heart Podcast

Friday, October 6, 2023 - 48 minutes

We get questions related to this topic often.

Parents and disciple-makers of young kids are understandably anxious and wondering;  How can we guide kids in a way that makes them both courageously truthful and loving?

Pastor and author, Sam Allberry, comes back on the show to help us answer discipleship questions based on his new children’s book on marriage, ‘God’s Signpost.’ In addition to questions about teaching kids about marriage, Sam unpacks:

  • What are Christians doing poorly when it comes to engaging gender/sexuality/marriage?
  • What are we doing well?
  • What did Sam need from his Christian community while growing up in order to thrive today?
  • How should we talk to a teen (or tween) who wants us to use their preferred pronouns? 
  • How should we biblically consider pronoun-usage in our workplaces and places of worship?


  • “If we start with the prohibitions [about marriage]; it’s very hard to make it seem like we are talking about something good.” —Sam Allberry
  • “The redefinition of marriage wasn’t when we turned it into a same-sex thing. The redefinition of marriages happened when we turned it from a covenant into a contract.” —Sam Allberry
  • “We must ensure that the relational quality of our church life is such that a young person growing up in church does not feel like their happiness rests on their marital status.” —Sam Allberry

//Question of the Week:

What non-word-word do you use often, and what is your definition of it? 


//Do the Next Thing:

  • Here is Sam’s new children’s book!
  • We mention a Christianity Today article on pronoun usage here
  • Annnnd, we were right. We have interviewed Sam two other times. :) Here are the other two episodes:
  • Seven ways to navigate a sexually shifting culture here
  • What God has to say about our bodies here
  • Watch the full episode through WCSG here
  • Join the conversation about the episode here!


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