Finding God in the Grief

Posted by: Cody Peterson, Prospect Development Associate | Monday, November 2nd, 2026 ( 8:30am)

Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.—Proverbs 19:21

On my 17th birthday, my dad gave me a custom engraved study Bible. I think he knew how much it mattered that I pursue Jesus. But what neither of us could have known was where that journey would lead, or that this would be the last birthday gift he would ever give me.

My dad was diagnosed with cancer my freshman year of high school. It went into remission once, then it came back my senior year. He lost his battle a month after I graduated.

I was angry. I was sad. I was mad at the world for taking him. Yet in the days that followed, I was surrounded by family and friends who kept pointing me to God. I found real comfort in knowing that my dad was no longer in pain, that he was celebrating in Heaven with our Creator, and that I would see him again someday.

But grief doesn’t stay tidy. In the months after, I battled waves of depression and suicidal thoughts. My best friend in the world was gone, and I was only 17 years old. I saw multiple therapists, broke down in front of my friends, and had days that were hard to get through.

Then, something happened that made me see life in an entirely new way. It was as if God flipped a switch in mind by using something unexpected—ironically, a medical issue of my own—to pull me out of the darkness and point me toward hope again.

A few months after my dad passed, I started having stomach pain. Soon I could barely walk and was throwing up. I have a high pain tolerance, so I told myself maybe this was just food poisoning and wanted to power through it. (What devastated me most was the thought that Buffalo Wild Wings had done this to me, and I’d have to give it up forever!).

The pain started on a Friday, but I didn’t see a doctor until Monday, who said it could be appendicitis or several other things. So, I went home to keep an eye on it. However, later that night the pain became so unbearable that I checked in to the ER, where a CT scan revealed that my appendix had ruptured at least three days earlier. I was immediately transported by ambulance to a hospital better equipped to perform the life-saving surgery I needed.

When I awoke the next day, I was surrounded by people who were relieved to see me. Everything had happened so quickly that I didn't fully grasp how serious the situation had been or how close I had come to losing my life. But as I spent the rest of the week recovering in the hospital, surrounded by the relief and love of family and friends, a realization settled over me: I was still here by God's grace.

In the months after my dad's death, I had spent so much time wishing my pain would end that I had lost sight of the gift of simply being alive. But lying in that hospital bed, I suddenly knew that God has placed me here for a reason. If my purpose had already been fulfilled, it would have been an easy time for Him to call me home. But it wasn’t my time, and God was telling me I still had a lot to live for. The story He is writing for me was not yet finished, and I realized I wasn’t ready for it to end either.

Of course, the grief over losing my dad didn’t just disappear after that moment, but that brush with death did shift my perspective. I now know that the pain we carry is not a reason to check out of life. It can push us closer to the source of life itself.

And that Bible my dad gave me? Today, it is one of my most treasured possessions. Not just because it’s the last gift my dad gave me, but because it continues to point me toward the God who carried me through the darkest season of my life. It reminds me that grief may walk beside me, but it doesn't have to define me. And as long as God is still writing my story, there's always a reason to keep turning the page.