Episode 179: Three Types of Shame and Why They Matter with Matt Krieg

Hole In My Heart Podcast

Friday, September 3, 2021 - 43 minutes

So...shame.

It's talked about quite frequently and often with rightful animosity, but have you ever considered there might be some good types of shame? Buckle your seatbelt as we engage the three types of shame and why they are so important--not just when engaging the LGBT+ conversation, but anyone's life.

Matt, Laurie, and Steve also dive into how the rest of SEASON FIVE will look, and why they are choosing to follow Jesus--even now in often-brutal 2021.

Toxic Shame:
Whole body self-hate
"Who I am is worthless."
From the enemy (Satan)
Happens before, during, or after we sin (or even if we didn't)

Guilt:
"What I did was not worth it."
From the Holy Spirit
Happens only after we sin

Godly Shame:
Helps us to feel the weight of our sin so we don't repeat it
From the Holy Spirit
Happens after we sin (or if we didn't)
See: 1 Cor. 6:5 (“I say this to shame you”), 2 Cor. 7:10 (“godly sorrow that leads to repentance”)

| Highlight |

“The antidote to shame is being seen in our mess and loved in our mess….[Confession] can be this joyful thing, it doesn’t have to be this—it shouldn’t be—this ‘You’re worthless’ thing!….We don’t have to—just because we’ve been tempted toward something or even if we’ve sinned—we don’t have to hate ourselves, guys! We can confess and be free!” -Laurie Krieg

| Do the Next Thing |

Our book, *An Impossible Marriage*, talks often about these three types of shame and how they manifest. Check it out here! https://www.ivpress.com/an-impossible-marriage

And for more on shame, check out this resource by the expert, Curt Thompson: *The Soul of Desire.* https://www.ivpress.com/the-soul-of-desire

For those of you who are married and maybe feeling stuck, here’s an extra resource as well! 14 Days to Unstick Your Marriage. https://lauriekrieg.com/product/14-days-to-unstick-your-marriage/

Want to be more involved with the podcast? Check out our Facebook group! (Discussion of *An Impossible Marriage* starting September 12!) https://www.facebook.com/groups/434827357279517