Episodes
If you're in need of hearing a story of God's unmistakable reality, you may want to listen here.
David Bennett, author of 'A War of Loves' (Zondervan, Nov. 2018), shares his story and God's obvious breaking into his life. David was a once an atheist LGBT+ activist, and now pours out his life for all people because of God's love in him. The story includes a psychic telling him he was chosen by Jesus, asking his friends what love is, a prophetic moment from an uncle, and a life-transforming prayer in a bar.
But after that transformation, David still has to walk what we call the awkward middle...
Gratitude. Joy. Hope.
God has done some healing work on us, and we are sharing a few reasons why and how. We get practical.
Also we do a live, old-timey candy taste testing and it's disgusting.
Welcome.
//: Highlights:
"The reason I didn't leave is the same reason you didn't leave. It's because of God." --Matt Krieg
"It's been so hard to crack open my heart and let people in, but it has been so worth it." --Laurie Krieg
//: Do the Next Thing:
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Wesley Hill is known as a big brother to many people who have recently come out as celibate LGBT+ Christians. When this conversation was still whispered about in church basements, Wes stepped up to the podium and offered a beautiful picture of living with hope.
We talk about this "big brother" status, as well as dive into the new-to-us concept of emotional chastity: giving up the right or demand for extremely intimate non-sexual relationships.
We'd love to hear what you think of this concept of emotional chastity, and please let us know which goofy triathlon would you try. (You'll understan...
When I was first making the connection between my brain and attractions toward women, I promised myself that I would never tell my parents. I was terrified. "Would they reject me? Does this mean I am not a Christian? Or I'm the worst-broken Christian?"
I'm so thankful that rejection wasn't a part of what I encountered, but it was still rocky. Lots of tears shed on this one with my dad, Randy Hekman.
Also lots of cheese-related laughs. We play a game called "To Cheese or Not to Cheese." Come, laugh, cry, and goof around with us.
//: Highlights:
"What is love? God gives you love for your...
Loneliness. We all experience it, but not many of us want to talk about it. Let’s start the conversation here (and connect it to the necessity of friendship) with blogger and our new friend, Bridget Eileen!
Also, we got new sound effects. Also we play “Explain a Film Plot Badly.” IT FUNNY.
Also listen to the end. Producer Steve likes to hide nuggets.
//: Highlights:
“I really struggled with the question, ‘How could impossibly be saved if I still have this struggle?’ It was so important to me to realize God doesn’t just save me in the past, but he is saving me in my present.” --Bridget Eil...
When I (Laurie) was at a recent teaching event focused on leaning into LGBT+ conversation with grace and truth, I heard Daniel Mattson, author, speaker, and trombone player, share a story that made my jaw drop. As he taught, I found myself (for the first time) jealous of the way someone suffered.
He offers that story here.
We also play a ridiculous game where we all practice our acting skills (as West Michigan moms, hungry dinosaurs, and texting Millennials with focal fry), and Daniel and I lean into what labels we choose to identify (same-sex attracted? gay?) and why.
Welcome back, friends...
Remember when people used to write "HAGS" in your yearbook? That's this episode. Plus some more hearty stuff and a T-Rex costume.
We talk favorite Goofball Island and Heart of the Matter moments, how has this podcast impacted us from start to finish, and talk future goals for it (please come be our best friends, Chris Pratt and Terry Cruze).
//: Highlight:
“There were some days when Matt and I would come in and record, and we were in fuming states or silent states. This podcast was a place to laugh together and find where we agree--which is the gospel.” --Laurie Krieg
//: Do the Next T...
This is our last official full-length podcast for season one of the HIMH podcast! [Insert weeping]
We are going to us off into the July break talking about a favorite summer activity: camping. But this episode covers much more than camp life. Our guest, Susan Titus, a shares practical experience of caring for LGBT+ campers as well as ways God has convicted her to love LGBT+ people. (Her methods include reaching out to people in gay bars and wearing rainbow bracelets). Per usual, we learn a lot about what it means to live missionally.
We also play a game called Camp or Tramp (is this a real ...
Friendship questions are some of the top inquiries we receive at HIMH.
Is it biblical to have a best friend?
At what point does a friendship turn codependent?
What can we do about it?
We cover it with codependency expert, Kelly Needham--someone who loves friendship so much she's writing a book about it. (And if you recognize that last name, it's because she is married to Christian worship artist, Jimmy Needham! A little fact we didn't know until 60 seconds before recording... Our bad.)
We also get real deep into Tinkerbell and the Legend of the Neverbeast talk, as well as play a game calle...
We have two incredible stories for you today:
One is of Kat LaPrairie, who identifies as transgender and experiences attractions toward women. Kat came out as gay after high school and had serial dating relationships with women for a decade. In those years, Kat woke up many nights "gasping for God."
The other story is of a mom, Kathi Bush. Kathi is a clinical therapist and mom to a son who wrestles with gender dysphoria. Kathi shares not only pieces of her journey with her son, but practical ways parents of children wrestling with gender dysphoria can journey alongside them well.
We also to...
Friends: This is a story you 're not going to want to miss. Our guest, Rachel Gilson, wrote an article for Christianity today that was both award-winning and one of the most-read articles of 2017. When you hear her share her story of the gospel's good news for her here, you'll understand why.
The story includes girlfriends, binge drinking, and a stolen copy of Mere Christianity. Rachel also shares about the gospel's right-now good newsiness in her walk with ongoing temptation.
Because we are the HIMH podcast, we naturally discuss the past-tense version of the word, "cheat," the difference ...
Are we all leaders because of social media? How does social media play into the struggle with envy? When does pride get mixed up into that? (And what's the relationship to all of this and self-hatred?)
We explore it with pastor, author, and speaker Adam Barr. We also walk with tauntauns, wampas, (and therefore the relationship between Star Wars and Dr. Seuss), and Matt Krieg brings the Goofball Island game for the first time. Woot!
//: Highlights:
"Prayer and pride are inversely proportional. If one side is high, the other side is low. If one side is low, the other side is high." "
Jesus ...
Dr. Preston Sprinkle is in the house!
We are hitting the New York Times bestseller with all the hard questions: What is your Enneagram number? What's your Hogwarts house? Where did the phrase "kick the bucket" come from?
AFTER ALL OF DAT, we do talk a bit about God's design for gender, premarital sex (what does the Bible say?), and when to speak truth in love.
//: Highlight:
"Our leadership has to be consistently promoting and embodying a counter-cultural way of doing community that is really shocking and life-giving to people... Our current church structures are largely resistant to th...
We have a controversial guest on our podcast today: Rosaria Butterfield.
Some of you may not know why she might be controversial; some of you may write off this podcast forever as a result of our interview.
Give me us minute to explain why we intentionally invited her: The world is increasingly becoming post-Christian. We need other Christians. We need to link arms with other believers (even if we disagree with pieces of what they say) so that the gospel is preached.
If you give this one a chance, you may be surprised at how much you are challenged and how many times you find places of agre...
Did you or do you feel lost in your 20s? Lonely?
Our guest, Drew Boa, asked (and still asks) in his 20s,
"What is my purpose?
Who are my people?
Where do I belong?"
Let's dive into that 20-something lostness, and talk about feeling lost in general. Then, let's explore how we can get anchored.
//: Highlights:
"[The gospel] is still good news for me today because even though I'm married, I have a daughter, and I'm living in beautiful Santa Barbara, I still feel lonely. I still feel the need for the good news that God is with me, and that I have brothers and sisters who can be my friends....
The hearty portion of this week's podcast is all about authenticity and intimacy:
How can we be authentic without over-sharing?
Can pastors/leaders be authentic?
Should they be?
How do emotional, physical, and spiritual intimacy relate to marriage and friendship?
We are very heavy-handed with the goofball part of the show: In a fight between Eleven from Stranger Things and Hermione Granger from Harry Potter, who would win? Would you rather lose your texting ability or have to use dial-up internet forever? Would you rather have terrible dandruff, body odor, or flatulence?
You get it all her...
Eh, boy. Here we go again! Getting vulnerable.
As a follow-up to the now infamous (and most listened-to) Episode 24: Is There Hope for Us?, Matt and I [Laurie] give an update on our marriage's healing journey.
We get really real. We pray you are only blessed by it.
We also talk men's and women's ministries/conferences/retreats and the gifts and drawbacks of them, and I do a HILARIOUS round of Mom Jokes regarding cold weather. (I'm begging you to laugh.)
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"The problem for me was I knew when we got married ... it was not this erotic, hormone-driven sexual desire. That was not...
Who comes to your mind when you think about mentors or disciple-makers? Who comes to mind when you think about sexual discipleship? Anybody?
Whether or not we realize it, we are discipled by the world. We learn the significance of sex, its importance (or lack thereof), and how to approach it by the world. We need another way.
Our friend and co-laborer in the Kingdom, Dr. Juli Slattery, author, speaker, and podcaster walks us through a beautiful start of this conversation and some highlights in her fantastic new book, Rethinking Sexuality.
We are real, we are gospel-focused, but because we c...
Friends: If you haven't ever listened to our podcast, start here!
We have a special guest, Bill Henson, who is a spirit-filled well of wisdom.
If you are a parent of an LGBT+ child, a Christian leader who wants to be more inclusive (while still holding to a historically Christian view), identify as LGBT+, or simply care about LGBT+ people, this one is for you.
In addition to talking about walking with LGBT+ friends and family, we also talk about the first time we learned we were missionaries, how we listen to music (in the car? at home? at church?), and about an upcoming joint-retreat HIMH ...
It sends terror through all parents: How do we talk with the kids about sexuality?
Yikes. How do we?
We bring our first returning guest, Dr. Branson Parler, Professor of Theological Studies at Kuyper College, and Director of Faith Formation at Fourth Reformed Church in Grand Rapids, MI, to talk about it with us. In addition to his theological cred, he brings real-life walking with his five kids, ages 9, 7, 5, 3, and 1.
What we share here is important ground work, and (I hope) specific next steps.
We also talk about how to talk about Jesus with kids in general, and our favorite childhood s...
If women make up 1 out of every 3 visits to pornographic sites, if 17% of women consider themselves addicted to porn, and if half of women in a recent German sex study admit to watching porn, why don't we talk about it? Why are there so few resources?
We talk about it with Amy Riordan, author, speaker, and writer for Covenant Eyes. Additionally, we explore the questions:
If we are a woman who wrestles with pornography or lust in general, how can we get the shame-free help we need?
If we are a friend of a woman wrestling with lust, how can we come alongside our friends?
//: Highlights:
"T...
Youth leaders, this one is for you.
We talk with our guest and New York City youth pastor, Ray Low, about his journey with sexuality and how his youth pastor walked with him well.
We also talk a lot about what it is like to be a double minority as an Asian American and a sexual minority. This was an important conversation we were honored to have.
//: Highlights:
"[At church] I saw a different kind of community that had a different kind of purpose. That's when the gospel started to make sense to me: when I started to see a community that extended beyond Sunday."
"[My youth pastor] would tr...
We laughed a lot on this one.
We cracked up, and went to deep heart places with Nate Collins, special guest, author, and president and founder of the Revoice Conference. We chatted about starstruck moments (who almost got taken down by Francis Chan's security team, hmmm, LAURIE?!), vulnerability, and giving the historically Christian LGBT+ conversation a new voice.
//: Highlights:
"The way the gospel is good news for me now," Nate said, "is by living transparently. When that requires vulnerability, then being vulnerable. I've experienced so much grace in being known. And shame in being no...
So...shocker: Parenting is hard. Also, life is hard. Today, we follow up with the brutally honest "Episode 24: Is There Hope for Us?" as well as discuss how we, as bleeding-heart parents, can be on mission (to make disciples) with our kids without hurting their hearts...
//: Do the Next Thing:
Laurie's post: The Day I Became Wonder Woman
Psychology Today: 10 Reasons Why Today's Teenagers Are So Anxious
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We have another guest!
Dr. Branson Parler! To go with his movie star name and phD, Branson is FULL OF WISDOM! This was one of those conversations where Producer Steve, Matt, and I looked at each other while recording with our jaws dropped.
He answered a lot of questions we had about the relationship between sexuality, married people, single people, and the Church.
//: Highlights:
"Paul can say, 'Stay single,' ...because the church is functioning as a family."
"Our bodies matter. Matter matters... The way God communicates his love to us is not just through this intellectual message that b...
How can you be a helpful friend to someone in pain? How can you be a helpful person in pain to your friends? How does co-dependency relate to this? We talk about it on the podcast with a guest, Tammy Perlmattur!
Tammy Perlmutter is founder and curator of The Mudroom, a collaborative blog encouraging women to speak truth, love hard, and enter in with each other, and co-founder of Deeply Rooted, a biannual worship, arts, and teaching gathering for women in Chicago. Tammy is a member of Redbud Writers Guild, an urban beekeeper, and lives in an intentional Christian community in Chicago.
We als...
"Love... does not demand its own way" (1 Corinthians 13:5).
This... this one is gritty. And beautiful. And sounds like two people pursuing God and each other in the midst of pain. It sounds a lot like real life.
Today, on our nine-year anniversary, Matt and I open up about the last year-and-a-half of walking through the effects of trauma with a person.
May it only bless you.
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We talk birthday, which childhood movie traumatized you, and what have you said to friends when they say they can't "feel" and/or hear God's voice?
Here's good ol' Francis laying it down per usual:
“I hear people complain that they don’t feel Jesus with them, they don’t experience the Holy Spirit. I usually ask them: Are you busy making disciples? ... If I want to find my friend Andrew, I can usually find him at the gym. If I want to find Adam, he’s probably at the beach. If I want to find Lisa, she’s probably at Target. If I want to find Jesus, I should share the gospel with someone. Tha...
Matt, Producer Steve, and I (Laurie) have a guest! We asked last week for feedback on this marriage book and conversation from single people, and my friend Joie VanHolstein answered the call! We chat about how we have seen Jesus romance us lately, and which game show (or reality show) we would unquestionably win (and which we would undoubtedly fail). The Heart of the Matter focuses on fighting through humility, how people who have been affected by trauma can "die to self" without getting re-traumatized, and taking your hands off of your of your own throat as you are in process.
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Matt Krieg, Producer Steve and I (Laurie) chat about chapter two of Francis and Lisa Chan's book "You and Me Forever." Per usual, deep and silly conversations ensue including: What's up with drivers in California and in the Midwest? {and} What would our marriages look like IRL if the gospel was on display in them?
//: Podcast Extra: I refer to "Sacred Marriage" by Gary Thomas, and this podcast about why God made us sexual by Dr. Juli Slattery
//: Do the Next Thing:
Read or listen to the book for free here (Or just download the "You and Me Forever" app.)
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